My life has been shaped by animals, children, and young people. From my early years, I carried co-dependency, low self-worth, no confidence, difficulty setting boundaries, and self-contempt. Thankfully, horses came into my life and became my mentors. Today, I’m grateful for my past, as it has allowed me to help other young people struggling in different ways. Personal development and a holistic approach have been my driving forces.
Kia Hildén is the woman behind the method Emotionell Spegling Med Häst (ESMH) — Emotional Mirroring with Horse — a therapeutic practice in which the horse’s presence, sensitivity, and authenticity guide people back to themselves. This work has grown from her own life experience and deep connection to people and animals.
Philosophy
When we understand and accept that body and soul are one, we can also realise that much can change, without medication.
The horses became Kia’s mentors
When Kia was three years old, she was diagnosed with Perthes disease in her hip. This meant she had to remain physically still for several years – between the ages of three and five, she couldn’t play like other children. She wore a metal brace and special shoes and couldn’t run, climb, or join socially. It wasn’t until she was seven and declared recovered that she was allowed to accompany her sister to the riding school – and everything changed.
” No one could see I was different when I sat on the horse. My horse ran just as fast as all the others. I remember the riding hall’s scent, the horse’s warmth, and the feeling in my body. It made a deep impression on me.”
Kia’s upbringing was marked by insecurity, addiction, and co-dependency within the family. For her, horses became a refuge, a pause, and a place of safety. She escaped to the stables whenever she could, and there she began to understand something fundamental: the relationship with animals can offer a space and a connection that people sometimes cannot.
After finishing compulsory school, she was tired of studying and moved out to work as a nanny for a veterinarian on a private farm. There, her bond with animals deepened, as did her understanding of the interaction between humans and animals.
”I learned to communicate, though on an unconscious level. That’s where I began discovering what later became the foundation for ESMH.”
A natural connection with horses and children
Even at a young age, Kia was asked to help with difficult horses. Her natural sensitivity and personal experience enabled her to resolve behavioural issues. She often sensed what the horse needed and gradually realised that her work was just as much about the human on the other end of the lead rope. Between 2000 and 2011, Kia travelled across Sweden giving horse clinics.
”Often when I was working with the horse, it became clear that something was going on with the person, too – maybe a divorce, a miscarriage, a loss. The horse was carrying something that wasn’t its own.”
Together with her husband, Kia built a life with three children of her own and three stepchildren. Two of the stepchildren struggled with mental health issues due to past trauma. Kia observed how differently they responded to the structured format of riding school, where they “bounced around” on ponies, compared to the freedom of being with the horses at home, unmounted and without pressure.
”I saw that something shifted. They could become angry, sad, or withdraw. But there was a reaction. They connected with something inside themselves.”
Soon, the children’s friends also began visiting the farm. When someone was having a hard time, the kids would say, “Can’t you do for them what you did for me?”
Developing the method
In 2005, Kia began working as a foster parent after her children had moved out. This marked a new phase – and also a confirmation of what she had already started to sense: that her way of working with horses could help young girls dealing with self-harm and trauma.
”Several of them couldn’t tolerate physical touch. But the horse could reach them. Something in the encounter created a connection, in a way that talk therapy couldn’t.”
It was in this quiet, nonjudgmental meeting between horse and human that ESMH began to take shape. At the time, it had no name or structured format, but something happened repeatedly, changing the lives of those who took part.
”One girl said: ‘I haven’t cut myself all week.’ Another said: ‘I could sleep last night.’ Small things – but life-changing.”
ESMH becomes a treatment model
In 2010, Kia decided to invite ten therapists to her farm. She wanted professionals to witness what she was doing. Among them was Cilla Kallenberg, a licensed psychologist and psychotherapist with many years of experience working with young people and trauma. Kia remains in contact with Cilla, who currently works at a residential care home (HVB) in Nyköping.
Kia and Cilla met several times over the course of a year. Cilla helped Kia articulate and clarify what actually happens between humans and horses during sessions in Emotional Mirroring with Horse (ESMH): what the goal is, how Kia reads the horse, how she thinks, and how this helps the client.
Goal
I wish this way of working would be recognised as a valuable complement to psychodynamic therapy.
Vision
I want to train others who are deeply sensitive to horses and want to work in therapeutic or coaching roles.
Education and further development
Kia sees horses as her greatest teachers, but she has also chosen to deepen her professional skills through a wide range of therapeutic methods. These methods allow her to meet people sensitively, professionally, and safely.
She is trained in CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) at Ersta Sköndal University College and DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy). She has additional training in trauma-informed care, MI (Motivational Interviewing), milieu therapy, and mentalisation.
In 2018, Kia completed the Canadian programme FEEL – Facilitated Equine Experiential Learning, which affirmed what she had already practised for many years: using the horse as a guide to personal development and healing.
She is a certified practitioner in healing and energy balancing, and a certified ICT therapist, with additional training in co-dependency related to narcissistic relationships.
In 2023, Kia completed the course in Professional Personal Development (PPU), led by Catharina Carlsson, a Doctor of Social Work and lecturer at the University of Gothenburg. The equine-assisted training has had a significant impact on Kia’s continued work. Catharina remains an important mentor and sounding board. She is also the author of The Horse as a Teacher on the Path to the Heart.
In 2024, she also completed a six-month personal and professional growth programme, ”Thinking into Results”, from the Proctor Gallagher Institute, mentored by Palwasha Feizi.
Lectures and corporate leadership training
Kia’s work has also evolved into lectures and training sessions for corporate groups. These programmes begin with a talk and are followed by practical exercises involving the horses.
Most companies aim to improve results by enabling leaders to better support and elevate their teams. Kia focuses on helping people reach their full potential, feel better in their bodies, improve their relationships, and set bold goals — ultimately becoming the best versions of themselves.
She encourages the understanding that true success often comes through helping others succeed and that comparison is rarely the path forward.
Kia draws inspiration from Dr. Joe Dispenza’s work, especially his research on heart–brain coherence and how our thoughts, emotions, and energy influence our physical health and our relationships with others.
